Sexual Dysfunction. This is also Enlightenment.

 I am... here. I've had such a journey. Perhaps the hardest part is just putting pen to paper. Perhaps the hardest part has been running from how powerful I know IAM. Kinda like that one song back in the 90's... "perhaps, perhaps, perhaps". Wheezer? Cake? not sure. funny how those also throwback to names of cannabis products. 

Which brings me to today. Thank you for that lead-in. I'm a channel... my mind gets weird if I just start talking. It's like, feels a little close to what I used to think was my ego. 

I've always known I'm supposed to speak. I've always had stuff to say - it was always true, and always in full earnest. Meanwhile, there were a TON of things that prevented the TRUTH of the Universe from being received. I knew it. I felt it. But the life reflected back to me never reflected the truth of who I was. It never felt right. Actually, it never felt at all...

Emotional Suppression 

I know for certain, at like - 9 years old, that I saw my first flasher. We lived on an Army base in Germany, and our building was in the very back bunted right up against a pretty thick wooded area. I nearly typed out that I had the front door to the forest in my back yard, it beckoned me. Between the building and the forest was a dinky little playground that loved. Seriously, playing in the front yard of the forest. I've never felt more alive, free, and sparkly than I did being so close to Gaia. To myself. I didn't know anything then.

I just knew I felt free on a rickety metal rocking horse barefoot amid the muddy dirt smack dab in the middle of a cool, concrete building, the structure of my home. My safety. 

On the other side was the dense forest with thick tops that felt like my wild biracial hair, and LONG brown legs whose roots like toes dug deep into the muddy earth... kinda like my own did. 

My home was one where I always knew I was safe, but I never felt it. My mother is an incredibly strong woman. Active military raised 3 kids on her own, then went and got her Ph.D. later in life. She's living the life of her dreams... truly, my radiant mama. I get every ounce of everything from her. She did all she could to help us 3 kids become who we are. Anyway - I still never felt safe. I don't blame anyone - that was my soul journey. 

Anyway - one day, I ran out back to play barefoot in the mud and there was a man. I stopped, as he was in the forest... facing me. He had a long brown trenchcoat and said something to me in German. Then he opened his coat, and he was completely naked. He didn't move, nor did I - he just stared at me as the bubble of my innocence began to leak... 

I don't blame him, I thank him these days for the perspective I have. Moments like these can be triggering, but what enlightenment has afforded me is the ability to return to core wounds and still find the love. This gentleman was acting on generations of the wounded masculine. His subconscious block had him acting out in what he. may have even consciously decided to do: Expose himself to innocence.

It's all well and good - until I look back at all of the sexual dysfunction that came before and after that experience. For years and years and years. The dance of the wounded feminine and wounded masculine wounded the other in wounding the self. And vice versa. To hurt them is to hurt me - how is this? 

How can it be? We perpetuate pain... always in ourselves first. I ruminated on that experience so much that I don't know what happened next. For years. Big gaps of memory. What I do remember is crumpling down in despair in my room one night... not even conscious of why. I was just bawling, terrified, and deeply remorseful - and I'd never done anything wrong. 

So, you can imagine how relieved I was to hear that I was born broken - and had to rely on a white man named Jesus to put me back together. It felt really off. But yet, Jesus beckoned. 

Hey - I'm Tasha. I'm energetic, empathetic, and enlightened and I've finally learned how to synthesize my wildlife in a way that articulates the knowing of one's self. I love to weave my words around from a myriad of perspectives. These days I'm enjoying an astropsychological, mystical, energetic, and physics perspective. 

I'm a mother, a writer, a healer - and well... I'm also a galactic channel from the center of the universe. My calling is to speak truth through whatever avenue is presented before me. I don't know everything, I just know that I AM everything. My gift is connection and can't be contained. If what I say resonates, thank you for your love! If what I say doesn't resonate, thank you for your love! I speak the language of love, so, my intent is always inclusivity. If something doesn't resonate, I'd love for you to stick around. There will be ample opportunity for respectful dialogue. 

After all, who's listening when SheSpeaks? I DO. Because - I AM