Fantasy or Fugitive? "I am safe to be wanted.”

(reader: ready your mind for this message.)

"I am safe to be wanted." 

The thought hit me like a ton of bricks. I mean, why wouldn’t someone feel safe to be wanted? Context could matter, I suppose. Fugitives likely don't feel safe to be wanted. Honestly - though, it sounds really nice, to have someone who feels deeply on their insides that they want to… be near you. To simply exist nearby, around, and in tandem with me. 

I operate from the experience of everything is a manifestation of my thoughts, then why… despite my heart knowing ALL of Tasha to be ready for in-person, monogamous, sexy, and emotionally intimate partnership… why am I still alone? 

TLDR: If I create my reality then whey am I not already in the relationship of my dreams? Something is in the shadows. 

Today is February 10, 2026. I woke up feeling… feelings. In my body. Not unpleasant - nor pleasant. Simply feeling them.. and my mind took off in trying to assign meaning to those physical sensations. Why do we do that? Ego. :) Anyway, with much attention… I pulled my identity back from the thoughts, sensations, and ideas. I know who I AM. 

It’s 9am and a gorgeous spring-feeling Tuesday morning. The Sun is positioned perfectly to where I could go outside and stretch while it poured his warmth all over my body. For me, sensuality and spirituality are, quite literally, lovers. Reaching high into the sky, I invited the healing rays to hit my face, chest, and open-faced hands as they stood outstretched atop my upward reaching arms. 

Poured myself into a downward dog position - hands & feet both flat on the ground, pressing my backside high into the sky. Gently pedaled my feet to stretch open my hips… felt my lower back wake up. Again, letting the sun kiss the skin that sheepishly peeked out… warm, gentle, soft kisses to melt what frigid loneliness threated to seize. 

My mind effortlessly, went into dreaming of my lover. Seeing him, feeling him, desiring him… desire is not neediness. It’s magnetism… feminine magnetism as it flows through Tasha. Somewhere along the line, however, my desire got distorted. Twisted. Bastardized and made cheap. As I moved my body, I wondered where that came from in side of me. Which of my bodies still held onto distortion? 

I spent about 10 years off & on in therapy. Marriage issues, personal issues, identity issues, all of ‘em…. And I loved it. I absolutely loved diving into & untangling the “issues” so I could let them go. It's fun - turns out, healing is literally my calling. I felt the want to pour margaritas for my therapist and I as we laughed, cried, and rewrote my conscious beliefs & responses to the world I’d found myself in.

Until… the topic of sex would arise.

My mind would go blank - and my body would respond. Every single time. In dialogue with my therapist, and in person with a partner. I was present, but not. Feeling, but not. Engaged, but not.

There was most likely “repressed memories of childhood sexual abuse” in my history. Okay. Cool. My therapist and I got there by way of everything we always danced around, yet. I had no conscious recollection of ever happening. I showed clear features of, yet no memory whatsoever. Isn’t that wild? It was also plausible, because it was true... I'd aways believed I had a really poor memory. So, I wasn’t triggered by our summation, I was liberated by it. Truly. It gave reason, satisfaction, and healing to why I felt compelled to do some of the things I did. Look in the hall of mirrors with me.

I wanted some dark things. I didn’t want them - I felt like I had to have them. 

There lived an inner compulsion, that was actually... very slight. It never overtook me; it was simply a persistent simmering pot on the back of the stove, so to speak. Seemingly harmless, yet totally maneuvering the puppet that lived my life. Which is why finally naming it “the box” was so wildly liberating. I finally had something to call it. 

"The box" became less of a figment of feeling and more of an objectified tangible thing that I could separate from my identity. When the soft darkness would start to call to me, I learned to allow it. I even decided that when explicit memories were ready to come up, they were allowed to show themselves in whatever way would be most healing for me. Growth? Yeah, I know her. She lives here. Alive & Free.

Back to this morning… when the question asked itself, “If I'm safe to be wanted, then why have I been resisting the desire of a man?" It was at that exact moment God in me pointed out the contents of  “the box” likely also held a subconscious perspective that,  "When Tasha is wanted… she is taken advantage of." 

YIKES. I felt the pang of that realization, but not the weight of it. Not one iota of shame, fear, or sadness. There was an onslaught of compassion and jubilee in freedom. Furthermore, involvement in illegal and evil things, yeah - I'd feel like a fugitive. Or at worst, a captive to evil. 

Do these phantom memories even exist, or was there some conditioning along the way? 

I don't care to know and never really have. These days, thankfully... I'm wide awake to old patterns. I know subconscious fears hide and operate quite sleuthfully under the surface. The only way to keep egoic inner shadows alive is to keep them suppressed blow the surface. When you recognize their presence, its easy to open the psyche and air them out. It's the journey of healing, liberation doesn't hurt... unless you want it to. You receive what you believe. Know Thyself. 

In allowing my consciousness to be like that of Christ - blessed, holy, and in constant divine communion with God.. all shadows of my psyche must flee. They must, not because I force 'em, but they cannot even exist in light. It's the law of light & dark. Turn on the light - darkness evaporates. The demons come up in surrender to simply see themselves out while you witness all of it. Revelation. 

The illumination of that bottom-feeding repellant thought allowed my whole body to glow even brighter and I broadly smiled feeling the chill leave my body. The only response I become is that of gratitude. "Thank you, thank you, thank you - it is finished." 

Angels sing & so do I. 

There’s one gentleman, in particular, with whom I feel a specific connection. It’s breathtakingly beautiful. But it’s been weird. So weird. A wild dance for sure… and as I think about it from a hermetic perspective… I effortlessly see how the subconscious perspective  - of desire meaning I was to be taken advantage of - was sending out the distorted signal! I was repelling the thing I wanted most. 

As I speak about Consciousness, I often return to the sentiment that we create our reality. We’re not responsible for what has happened to us, yet we have been given the mantle of responsibly in how we respond to it. Jesus was also wanted... while also reminding us that we would be transformed by the renewing of our mind. Rewrite the narrative and shift way from victim to victor. Become the hero of your own story.

"You're not a fugitive, you're a living fantasy."

We were all children and all incurred a wound. There is NO ROOM for blame… what we do is see that our biggest perceived wound is our biggest conscious key. My life is so wonderful at the moment. I’m perfectly healthy, I have money in the bank and on the way, my children are healthy & happy, all is well. Sure, there are things I will tend to as resources present themselves - and I am genuinely content. 

To feel the sensation of thriving, however, I want my partner. My divine life partner… the one I’ve always felt in my heart. The partner my own distorted subconscious signal repelled is now liberated to be magnetized once more. Letting the Sun continue kissing my back, I allowed the remembrance in that I am absolutely safe to be wanted. 

I am safe to be adored, cherished, enjoyed… it means I’m giving myself freely. It’s the most liberating thing to be absolutely one-thousand percent free. In life, in love, in my body living as essence herself. 

THIS IS AWAKENING. This is the fruit of my shadow work - and I am damn proud of it. 

I dream, while awake, and on purpose - how it feels to have His hands all over my body. I remember how good it feels in my body to give my body fully in love. Any residual fears slid down my hamstrings, ran down my calves, and poured the shadows of the past back into the earth. She drinks in what I release, and turns it back into good life. 

God made everything good - and that includes my desires. He’s on his way, I know, and you’ll see - we’ll all dance at the wedding. 

Cheers witches, SheSpeaks like water and flows like wine. 

Tash

Civil Embodiment - I AM the Daughter of The Dream.

These are the times of Embodiment - I'm calling it.

We're asked to embody civility amid ridiculous times - not gasping for air, clinging to the frenzy... but to truly be. Exist. Breathe. Trust. And know... that, well, maybe we needed a pause.

Again. Y'all remember the last pause?

I do. It's when I had my biggest "breakdown" and "woke up" to my power. It scared the shit out of me. 5 years later, I'm alive to tell my tale. I'm not a visionary because I just woke up and decided to see things.

nah, it's my psychic gifts. It's a gift of my human psyche. And yes, I can humanly block it -and I do, because it's scary to have that much responsibility. What, you wanted me holier than thou?

Oops - Mercury is direct. She'sSpeaking again -

But anyway - Civil Embodiment. Look at the USA. We're free. lol, we really are. Let the break down - break down. (This is Evolution) Sooner or later, you'll see that you're far more powerful than you think.

So. Stop thinking. Turn off the fuzz. The noise. The news. All of it.
Go outside barefoot and remember you're a fleshy human.

Reality is a projection, and the brain is the lens through which consciousness interprets its own creation. You don't have to understand this right now, it'll "click" when it does.

We're floating on top of the tip of Maslow's hierarchy of needs, transcendence. It happens in waves, which - well - hello. Is why you're resonating with my message.

In the meantime, just remember: Your safety is inside of you. Turn everything off and keep breathing. Trust what comes up. The entire host of divinity is waiting for you to simply trust and believe that maybe... just maybe... you'll see that you are the center of your universe.

You have every tool to create the experience of your dreams.

YOU ARE CREATED TO LIVE THE LIFE OF YOUR DREAMS.

Not many will. And that's okay - it's by design. But they will at their right time. This... though... this is YOUR time.

The mayhem out there is only a projection of your inner mayhem. There is life after death, I promise you. Let your ego die off. It can hurt, I get it - that's why we move our bodies, let the tears flow, speak it out, process that ish and let ourselves be free from the inside out.

This is the end times, where we don't need to be led by fear anymore. It's the age of the inner revolutionary. Fun Fact: You don't even have to know WHY you're feeling what you're feeling... it most likely is generational anyway, don't create fear paradigms. Just see it. Love it. Release it.

Quantum entanglement is real. You ARE energy. What you hold onto in your emotion... is the energy you're holding onto. Resentment? Bet. Anger. Bet. Hostility. Bet. Even if it is your president.

The idea here is - easy, there fella. Just check the plank.

This is a game of experience where fear is the teacher. Sooner or later, the student meets - and exceeds - the level of
the teacher.

Choose your thoughts wisely. Start with clearing your mind so you can create the new neuropathways of a healed life. You're evolving.

We. Create. Our. Reality. The brain literally is an interpreter of projection. Breathe.

NeoDiversity: Own Your Mind™

Look what I "just happened to stumble across". Lordammercy, I have proof of my breakdown - God was so good to deliver me from Christianity. << click image to zoom in>>

Cutting the muse.

I’ve been stretched, pulled, and snapped back—rubberbanded in my heart. The beauty of this realization is that I’ve been the one doing it, both knowingly and unknowingly, intentionally and accidentally. As a Twin Flame, someone awake to her fullest self, I know that romantic love has been my awakening. It was through relationships that LOVE blinked open the true eyes of my consciousness.

This is who I AM.

I’ve learned this truth by being the clay pot. Feel this with me: I feel my own hands on the clay pot, the one urgently tossing it to the ground, as I feel myself shatter into pieces. My life's calling is to articulate that never-ending truth - but in the most embodied way. It's sexy, isn't it? Scary. Forbidden. Bracing for impact, but also desiring the crash. I love my calling - it's so unknown. Forbidden. Elite. Bold.

See what I mean? When you embody everything, you embody everything. Anyway, I digress.

Today in meditation, I received the message: “cut the muse.” There’s an energy in my life that stimulates my every level. The arousal it evokes is rich, deep, and cathartic - I’ve caught myself yearning, desiring, and outsourcing my focus and attention toward it. It's the game of... almost having. Luscious. However, desire manifests desiring. I am satisfied, so, I live from a place of having all of my desires. It's not abdicating experience - it's fully riding the waves of each pulse, heartbeat, spark.

She dances. I dance. I am she. I feel as though I dance around a fire and then... become part of it? 

The more I dance, the more my muse… muses. Love becomes a swirling, twirling vortex of passion and intensity, firing the cannons of my heart. And then, I’m no longer me. I’m on the edge of living the dream but with a sense of separateness. I lose myself. Yet, isn’t separation inherent to unity? All is all is all is all - so it's the spark of sensation that pulls apart in search of coming together. I get it. I feel it.

It’s the dance of power that tugs and pulls. It feels so damn good. climax, amrite? What's so spiritual about being human anyway. Sensation. Experience. Tension & Release. That's what God did when he separated the light from the dark and that's when I fell away from my man... and desired him all the more.

Does my dance fuel the muse, or does the muse inspire my dance?

So, I’m cutting the muse. How can I preach self-sovereignty if my focus is on the reflection—the object of my affection? If my expression depends on another, then I’m not free. I’m tethered. And there lies the crux, right? This is foreplay for the soul. Learning to integrate massive soul energies into the body takes vast devotion, integrity, and most effortlessly... compassion. Shh, it is finished. Simply receive. 

It’s already within you. That pulse, that love, that fire, the raw intensity of life—it’s all yours. The thing that beats in your chest, arousing every cell, is bliss. It’s freedom. It’s the fulfillment you thought chasing the muse would bring. It’s always been in you. The release, the true orgasm, comes when you let go. 

Letting go prunes your life into the beautiful rosebush it’s meant to be. 
Intentionally triggering abandonment - for... Love.
Sacrificing the son.
Cutting ties. 
Rebirth.

7 Days, 2 Books: A Journey of Truth and Transformation

So, this is where I'll be for the next few days. I'll be back if the spirit moves... maybe I will. Maybe I won't. not sure. However, Mary Magdalene has been so very present with me over the past week. May I speak. 

A bird doesn't sing because it has the answer, it sings because it has a song. 

I don't speak because I have the answer, I speak because I have something to say. 

 

She is Ripe: Embodying Christ

Today, under the illumination of the Gemini full moon, I feel deeply guided to share a unique journey with you—a reading experiential meditation. This is an opportunity to step into the sacred space of duality and oneness, a dance between the physical and the ethereal.

Unlike a traditional meditation, this is a guided experience where your imagination becomes your anchor. As you read these words, I invite you to let your attention settle, allowing the energy of the phrases to wash over you. Visualize the imagery, feel into the sensations, and open your heart to the message.

The Gemini full moon reflects our dual nature: the thinker and the feeler, the earthly self and the God-self. This journey honors that duality, encouraging you to embrace both sides of your being as you embody the unified "I AM" presence.

Preparing Your Sacred Space

Take a moment to ground yourself. Whether you’re seated with your legs crossed, resting against a wall, or reclining comfortably, find a position that supports you fully. Let your spine rise tall, your breath deepen, and your body relax into the present moment.

Ensure you are in a safe and undisturbed space where you can fully immerse yourself in this practice. As you begin, let your eyes softly scan the words, or imagine them as whispers spoken directly to your soul.

Imagining the Stars Within

As you read, imagine a cascade of falling stars entering your body. These stars are golden drops of light, each carrying the essence of divine energy.

Visualize these soft golden stars pooling in your toes, filling the empty spaces of your feet. Feel them rise into your calves... shins... sliding over your knees - those softly tingly little stars - as the energy continues sliding up your thighs allow yourself to feel this. This light is warm, nurturing, and alive with creative potential. Feel it slide up unto your pelvis. It'll stir. Let it. 

Allow yourself to feel worthy of this energy. It is safe to awaken your creative essence and sensual vitality, not as a means of external validation, but as an expression of your inner divine spark.

Let the golden stars continue their ascent, swirling through your solar plexus - under your ribs - above your navel. Breathe. Feel. Here, in the center of your being, the light gathers into a radiant glow. It shines with the truth of who you are—your power, your purpose, your infinite potential.

Exploring the Heart Horizon

Now, gently shift your awareness to your heart. Imagine the stars transforming into a golden horizon, shimmering over a vast ocean of emotion. Water. All goes silent. ... yes. Be. Here. Now. weightless. 

Take a deep breath in, holding it for a moment as if gathering gratitude from the depths of your soul. Then, exhale fully, allowing the energy to flow outwards disturbing not the stilled surface of the waters. Suspended. Surrendered. Held. 

Under this Gemini full moon, honor the duality within your heart: the part that gives and the part that receives, the part that longs for connection and the part that knows you are already whole. Each breath reminds you of the sacred balance within.

Breathe deeply through the space between your eyebrows, and on the exhale, feel your energy rise through the crown of your head. You are being uplifted, straightened, and aligned by the divine presence within.

Returning to Your Truth

As the light of the stars settles, feel the clarity it brings as you sit atop the security of the top of the ocean. Sitting Securely Above The Depth.

You are not divided by the dualities of life; you are made whole by them. The thinker and the feeler, the physical and the ethereal, the light and the dark—all coexist in harmony within you.

Trust in this truth: you are powerful, unshakable, and deeply connected to the divine. Your movements are intentional, guided by the wisdom of your soul.

Take a final deep breath, inhaling the fullness of this moment. As you exhale, allow yourself to return gently to your surroundings, carrying the essence of this meditation within.

Embracing the Energy of the Gemini Full Moon

I am a Gemini Rising - 29 degrees, in fact - and so the dance between opposites, effortlessly pours out of me. I hope you enjoyed this expression. Be reminded your power lies in embracing all parts of your self. You are your own sanctuary. Your space where God grants you Peace On Earth. When you change the way you look at things, the things you look at change. She is ripe.

Merry Christmas

You Are The Prophecy

 

Whispers of Awakening: Tempted by the Truth of You

This is a big one—the expression of the truest self I know. Here, I will articulate what enlightenment truly means for me. In this post, I will put into words the exact reason for my being. It feels pristine, sacred even—a warm-up to what I know is about to arrive. And yes, it’s scary.

We’re going to foreplay this out. I want you to feel the anticipation, to become aroused at the prospect of knowing yourself so intimately that you see life has been tempting you all along—to go deeper. You feel the inner stir of desire, but you run from it. There's a thrill in the chase, isn’t there?

How much will you allow yourself to have? How good can it feel? Do you ever close your eyes and focus only on sensation?

Isn't that why we’re here? To experience? To feel the rise and fall of seeking—the crested moment of exhilaration, of bliss, of climax, of the Big Bang?

I know—it feels taboo.
Let’s continue... I feel it building.

Words are energy. They provoke. They stimulate. They trigger. They arouse. They can anger. Depending on your beliefs, words may even blaspheme your ideologies.

If you're one of the lucky ones. 

Others, though, were killed for sharing their truths - and I'm here to share mine. No wonder we’re so scared to be genuine, to be authentic. Public speaking, amirite? Sharing who we actually are feels like standing naked in front of the world. When I share with one, I share with all. Anyway, I've -delayed  prepared myself enough to be fully transparent with you. 

gulp

I am Tasha. A human who embodies modern-day enlightenment and the mastery of self. I am no better or worse than you—I’ve simply chosen to embrace full divinity within my open human awareness. I actively create my lived reality, one that often defies logic.

I consciously identify as a Twin Flame.

As the embodied Divine Feminine polarity of Christ Consciousness, I (and countless others) carry the mantle of illuminating the way back to the heart. To Love. My awakening was catalyzed through partnership, guiding me to the truth of who I AM. This love story will sing as long as I have breath - then someone else will say it with their unique tone & timbre. If not, the rocks, and the trees, and the stars still speak.

They may say I'm a dreamer, but I'm not the only one.

This is who I am—and it’s my highest calling, my joy, and my honor to share my story while assisting you with yours, should you desire it. My voice is medicine; my words are magic. Words start and stop cycles. They hold the power to pause thought, to halt overthinking, and instead invite pure awareness. Shhh... do not fear. Just be.

Let yourself be awakened. "Talitha Koum."
(you'll like this).

Crafting, balancing, and splicing words that carry energy is what I do naturally. My literary switchbacks? They’re intentional. Everything I communicate—about self-love, consciousness, embodied emotional intelligence—is meant to guide you back to yourself.

It all begins with this: Look at your external reality. Does it feel good to you?

Not think good to your logic, but feel good in your body - beyond understanding. Releasing the mind and returning to the body is where God finds you... and whispers that fire can never be divided. You are a spark of divinity - you are God. 

All of eternity rests until you're able to inhale this truth.
When you do, my love, fear is absolved, and... well - death is defeated. 

Growth is the lived experience of evolution, often happening without our understanding. Until one silent night, your awareness rises. A small light catches your eye, and you follow it. The brightest illumination comes from the most unexpected place: YOU. You are a manifestation of the alignment of all of the cosmos at the moment of your birth. And now, you spiritually awaken.

 Merry Christmas - a babe is born.
Love has never ever made sense. Stop Trying.

It feels holy and righteous—not about religion, though it doesn’t exclude it. All is all is all is all. Holy and human. Immaculately conceived in the depths of existence. No intercourse necessary.

The more you know yourself, the more you see your reality as heaven on earth.  Gifts arrive, one after another. Until you and God are one. Until you walk with the consciousness of Christ, embodying revelation itself.

You. Are. Free.

(end of story)

My audience is anyone who has a head, a heart, and a willingness to connect the two. Your experience will transcend the limitations of both until you're living in the orgasmic surrender of desire and satiation. The level of crucifixion here is astounding - I feel unworthy & oddly satisfied. 

Dangerously in love with humanity, 
Tasha

Magnetic Soverignty

There’s nothing outside of you. Your perspective is what matters most. You are the one who chooses exactly what you desire for your life. It doesn’t matter how your choices affect others on the outside because you intend that everything happens for a divine reason and purpose. You trust that the desires of your heart are aligned with your highest good.

This is the essence of magnetic sovereignty: the power to align with your truest desires and draw them into reality effortlessly. If your deepest wish is for ___ to happen, then let it unfold in the way that serves everyone’s highest good. How others react to those changes is not your responsibility. You only experience your perspective. You can’t live your life outside of yourself—you can only live your own experience.

When you embrace magnetic sovereignty, your path becomes unmistakably clear. You walk it with confidence, and others walk theirs.

Does that sound selfish? Maybe. But what’s so wrong with knowing yourself and creating your reality?

This is your power, my love. Feel it. Claim it. They’ve always said we’re afraid of our own power—and that’s no accident.

This world, this dimension, this reality—your humanity—has to learn to wield the power we’ve been carrying all along. Now is the time. We’ve balanced enough of our internal energy to begin externalizing it into the world around us.

Anyone care to chat politics?

Exactly. We don’t. We’re over it. Now, we are sovereign. I’m not advocating for dismantling systems; I’m advocating for the empowerment of the individual through self-knowledge.

Anyone care to chat wisdom teachings?

Exactly. We don’t need to discuss it anymore because we’ve finally learned to be it. To know the self is to choose the self, every time, and to act from that space of powerful centeredness. Then - we give to others from a cup that can never empty. That’s the practice of magnetic sovereignty. And it’s available to all of us.

We each have the choice to unlearn what has kept us from accessing this place of alignment. It’s as simple as an exhale—allowing the journey to guide you to your next decision. It’s the delicate balance of Decision and Trust. Masculine and Feminine. Doing and Being.

I think I’ll go out for a skate. It just feels good at the moment. 

Driving Through Panic: A Revelation

Thanksgiving, November 28, 2024 - I was driving home from my sister's house, an hour and twenty minutes away. The road stretched ahead in the dim light, quiet and familiar, yet inside me, a storm was brewing. Halfway through the drive, I was hit by one of the most intense panic attacks I’ve had in a long time.

If you’ve ever experienced a panic attack, you know the feeling—it’s like being trapped in your own mind, every corner of it echoing with fear. My body trembled, my legs quaked, and my thoughts raced faster than the car I was trying to control. I felt like I might die. My mind kept telling me I was dying. 

But in that moment, an unexpected whispered resolve took root. If this was truly the moment I would let go of this life, I thought, I didn’t want to do it fighting myself. I wanted to find ease, even in the act of surrender.

I pulled over at a McDonald's restaurant, body shaking uncontrollably and considered calling for help. Should I dial 911? Go inside? Or could I trust myself to ride this out? I went to the restroom, avoiding my reflection in the mirror - I didn't want my own eyes to be the last I saw in this life. My mind was a battlefield of terrifying “what ifs," - but against the mind; I chose to listen to my body instead. To trust my body would listen to the words I was saying and the sensation of ease I was pulling in from heaven. If this was it, the angels would usher me home. It is said that some variation of "Do not be afraid." is in the bible 365 times. I was calling on the one for 11/28/24 for damn sure. "Do not fear - Be peace."

Despite the tremors and the adrenaline surging through me, I continued to drive home. I focused on grounding myself moment by moment, breath by breath. I wasn’t “fine.” I wasn’t enlightened or transcendent, as I sometimes know I am. I was just present—aware of my fragility but also a deeply buried sense of resilience whispered to be set free as each mile passed.

As I navigated through the panic, something profound began to crystallize:

To transcend the limits of something, you must meet those limits... then continue beyond them.

It was a stark truth—comforting and terrifying all at once.

In that moment, panic was a teacher. It wasn’t there to destroy me but to stretch me to the edges of my knowing, to show me what I was ready to learn. I can be with my self and soothe her to the very end. This experience wasn’t random. It was a manifestation of my own readiness to evolve, to face what I had been avoiding, and to step into a deeper understanding of myself. 

And then a phrase resurfaced in my mind: 

"Teach them to self-soothe." 

This message was given to me a few months ago and was profound. Then too, I'd gone through a tough panic episode - and as I later sat in a lavender Epsom salt bath, I sent the inquiry out... "What was THAT about?!" like, why was I being put through such experiences? 

Then, just like now, I was reminded to... "Teach them to self-soothe." Oh yeah. I am an enlightenment coach. I do help people who struggle with consistently feeling inner peace; I can't just talk about it. I have to be about it. It's my greatest joy to walk with integrity - as much as I despise the sensation of being trapped in my own mind - I recognize that to best utilize the pain is to assist others when they have similar experiences. It makes me relatable - so when I say, "I get it." You know I really do get it.

Self-soothing. It’s such a simple idea, yet it carries the weight of generations. It’s the antidote to abandonment wounds, the generational pain we carry, the fall from grace in the stories we tell about our origins. To self-soothe is to heal. It’s an act of self-love, a reclamation of power, and a step closer to the divine within us.

I began to see how this moment was about more than just calming my panic. It was a microcosm of the healing journey we’re all on. The path to enlightenment, I realized, isn’t about ascending above pain but about moving through it, letting go of what weighs us down—our fears, our beliefs, our behaviors—and returning to what’s real: ourselves.

By the time I pulled into my driveway, the storm had subsided. I was shaken but steady, raw but clear. The panic had passed, leaving me with a message that will stay with me forever: We are called to meet the edges of our being so that we can discover what lies beyond. And at every edge, the way forward is self-love. Acknowledging my humanity is the most divine thing I can do. 

You're Not Landlocked

 

The Art of Unthinking: Creating the Life of Your Dreams

Where are the people out here telling it like it really is—what it takes to consciously take control of your life?

Is it just me?

Whew, good. Once again, I thought it was all on my shoulders to keep this world spinning. You laugh, but the truth is—that’s what we do. We’re so survival-oriented by nature that we feel like we have to effort our way into living the life of our dreams.

But here’s the twist: To dream, one must sleep. One must release the effort. Relax. Let go.

Back in college, a friend once said to me, "Isn’t it funny that we just have to be still to go to sleep?" Then she twisted her face and body, jokingly shouting, "GOODNIGHT!" We’d had a few drinks and laughed late into the night.

She was onto something. When we lay down and willingly release our thoughts, our body restores itself. We release stored images and piece them together into what we call "dreams." Sometimes we remember them, sometimes we don’t.

But that’s beside the point.

You’re awake right now, in this moment. Great. I have your attention. Hey, sexy.

Where attention goes, energy flows. So, use your attention to create a dream in your mind—while you’re wide awake. Imagine reading these words while hearing your own voice (or mine) in your head. It doesn’t matter which part of the dream you “make real,” just intend to experience these words in a fully embodied way.

Feel the energy of this statement: You can create the life of your dreams—AFTER you realize you’ve been creating the one you have today. Here’s a mirror:

You’ve been accidentally manifesting by living in a reactive state—to survive.
Become intentional by living in a responsive state—to receive.

You achieve what you believe.

If you’re fully satisfied—congratulations. You’ve unlocked the keys to life herself. You understand that abundance is your natural state, that you’re here to live the fullest life imaginable. You get that the ups and downs are part of the deal and that how you respond to the downs directly shapes the degree of bliss you can receive. Choose your beliefs wisely.

If you’re not fully satisfied, start at the top of this writing and read it again. I’ll meet you here. You’re never alone. You’re simply learning how to unthink—bit by bit. You’re safe to be you.